My carefully (yeah right) crafted plan is falling apart. Mainly because Mickey will not abide by the basic rules – be respectful, stay separate from his sister if he can’t be basically respectful, complete consequences to earn back his extra curricular activities, etc.
This weekend has been rough. Now, in our world this hasn’t been a drop in the bucket, but it hasn’t been good or even okay. A three day weekend at home wasn’t fun for any of us. Mickey lost his cool several times – once pushing Minnie down a very tricky small staircase outside on concrete – she is fine but it was scary. Minnie is asking for Mickey to move out. She loves her brother, but he is really tough to like when he is acting like this. He is angry about the lost activities and angry about being left out. But, he still isn’t making the connection between accepting that he is not grown and has to have consequences for his choices. He knows this, but has fixated on being a grown up and no matter how many times we try to explain that grown ups have consequences too, he is completely being stubborn about it.
I emailed his Scout den leader tonight to let her know that Mickey won’t be joining the first den meeting tomorrow, which will throw him behind on his first badge. I had so hoped that it wouldn’t be necessary and that he would come to the realization, but he didn’t. If this keeps up I will have to turn in his notice on dance classes on Thursday. I really don’t want to do that, but I can’t continue rewarding the behavior. We have had to make tough choices in the past, but I HATE this part of parenting. I love to do things for my kids and dance makes him so happy, but I can’t justify $100+ dollars a month for his classes when he is getting in trouble at school, constantly screaming at me and throwing things at me and lashing out at his sister. It scares me and it breaks my heart. ODD is no joke, and requires consistency. It is complicated by the Autism because it is very hard to tell if he is making the connections needed between understanding choices/consequences – though we know he understands it intellectually, the part that makes him stop and think doesn’t seem to be kicking in. His fixation on being a grown up is very much the Autism, but the ODD is there too. I am at a loss.
I am shopping for a new psychiatrist, which is proving extremely challenging – his former one left with no notice to us, a week before his scheduled appointment. We are low on meds and I think we need to discuss an increase in meds as well. I don’t think this is medication related, but I am growing concerned about the anger. I don’t relish doing that with a new psychiatrist who has never seen him before, but our essential oils and meds combo are clearly not doing the trick at this point.
The upside? He did pack his own lunch for tomorrow. I hope you all enjoyed your labor day. I am looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, but mainly just to get a break from the showdown at the E family corral.