Maybe not as grown as he thought

Mickey has decided maybe adulting isn’t for him. After the really tough long weekend, I was pretty sure this was going to be a very long week, and it was, but not because of Mickey. Our evenings have been relatively quiet, not a note from his teacher all week, and other than a thunderstorm induced mini panic attack yesterday at daycare, not a complaint out of them either.  Oddly, he isn’t his normal self though either, so I am only cautiously optimistic that we are moving past this little speed bump.

He is still somewhat overly emotional. He is back to his usual defiance, which feels a lot more like ignoring than it does oppositional.  He hasn’t screamed at me or thrown anything at me.  His arguments with Minnie are along the lines of normal, so who knows? But, we are getting ready to throw a wrench in the progress and normally, I know he would be ok….but, right now, coming off of the roughest 3 weeks this year? I am not so sure.

My grandfather fell over the holiday weekend and broke his hip. He has also been unconscious since the fall.  They did surgery on his hip on Wednesday and began a concerted effort to awaken him yesterday and today.  Those efforts have been unsuccessful and short of a miracle happening over the weekend, the decision is being made, in line with his advanced directives, to move him to hospice on Monday. My dad has to head home to be with his father and siblings.  The kids and I can’t go because my mom is recovering from knee surgery and was just released from the hospital on Tuesday so she can’t be left alone, nor can she travel.  So, the kids and I will go stay with her at their house and take care of her until my dad is able to come back.

This will absolutely disrupt Mickey’s routine and definitely test the theory that we are over the hump with regards to this particular bad spell of behavior.  As a child on the spectrum, routine is key as are familiar comfortable surroundings.  But, Mickey has learned to adapt fairly well and enjoys vacations, spending the night at my parent’s house and things like that. But, it becomes harder for him the longer we stay out of routine. By day 4, he starts falling apart at the seams and that is usually when we start heading home. But, we have no idea how long my dad will be gone, so we will just have to take it one day at a time. To add to the routine issue, my dad took my car (mine is a hybrid, his is a V8 Hemi truck).  This means that not only will we be staying somewhere unfamiliar, but we will be driving my mother’s car instead of ours.

He won’t have his dog to calm him, and there are lots of other little reasons why this is making him nervous. He is trying to figure out logistics – what happens if Grandpa isn’t home by Monday? How will I get to school? What happens if Grandma needs to go somewhere? How are you going to pick me up from daycare?  Will you come at normal time or earlier? Why are you working from home on your office day?  These are just a sampling of the questions he asked this morning.  He must know why. He must know how.  He will obsess on it all day, chew those answers up and hopefully be ok with it by the time he gets home.  This is how we have to do things with Mickey – he doesn’t do well when you spring things, but we can’t give him too much notice or he can’t function for the obsessing.  He will have a dozen more questions when I pick him up today and then we will stop by our house, let him pack his bag for overnight, let the dog out, feed the cat and head over to Grandma’s house.  We will got to dance in the morning and Nutcracker in the afternoon, which is his routine. He is stressed about Grandma being home alone for those activities.  We just have to manage anxiety and hope for the best.  The timing is not ideal, but when is it ever for something like this.


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