My children have no filter. They also are not shy about asking questions. I have worked very hard to make sure that we have an open relationship so that they feel comfortable asking me questions. I hope that we can maintain that through the teen years. I am honest and open, within age appropriate boundaries and I answer questions about their adoption, their birth families, etc. Recently puberty has become an interesting topic of questions and yesterday? The sex. Yes, with a the in front of it.
Minnie is a prude. I think I have said that before, but seriously she is a prude. She is appalled when people are dressed in what she deems an inappropriate manner, she doesn’t love two piece bathing suits because they show her tummy, she doesn’t like if a shirt is too low cut, a skirt too short, etc. She won’t even wear pinafore style dresses without a layering shirt because they show too much skin. I don’t know where this came from, but I am also hoping it holds until her high school years :-). She won’t allow Mickey or I to see her undressed, we had to buy a nude leotard to go under her costumes (standard for older dancers) by the time she was 5 because she wouldn’t undress in front of the other girls. Mickey has no boundaries and no modesty whatsoever. I am hoping that doesn’t hold true in his high school years. He does understand that he has to be dressed in public, but at home, no matter how many times I tell him that the bathroom and bedroom are the only appropriate “naked” places, he will come out of the shower and needs several reminders before he goes and gets dressed.
As we left dance last night, the subject of Tom came up. Tom is the gentleman I have been seeing/talking to for a couple of weeks. Minnie wanted to know if I was in love yet. Mickey wanted to know how much longer until I married him. Minnie then asked if I thought we could have a baby. The rest of the conversation went downhill quickly.
Mickey: Have you had “the sex” with him yet?
Minnie: Ewww, mommy wouldn’t have “the sex”!
Mickey: She has. She has had “the sex” lots of times.
Minnie: Momma, you haven’t done that, have you?
Me: Uhmmm. Mickey, why do you think that?
Mickey: You have had lots of boyfriends in your life, so you must have had “the sex” lots of times.
Minnie: Say it isn’t true.
Me: **stunned silence** Just because somebody has a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t mean they have had sex.
That my friends was evasive. First, neither child has any real concept of sex, but I think they have drawn the conclusion that it happens in a bed and it involves kissing. I think it is time to have some more serious talks, but that is the first time either has ever mentioned sex and I was not prepared for it to be in reference to me. I absolutely have no intention of discussing my sex life, or lack thereof with my kids. I just thought I would share my awkward parenting moment. I didn’t bargain for this when I started talking to Tom. Apparently this brought up lots of questions we haven’t had to deal with before. As an fyi, Tom and I have only been out twice and we don’t know where it is going and both of our dates have been confined to slightly elongated lunch hours and free of the sex.