Things have calmed a bit. I had a conversation with Mickey about how great he was doing at school, on the bus, at Grandma and Grandpa’s and at dance. We talked about how proud I was of all of that, but also why I can’t have him behave the way he had been at home. I explained that his sister and I love him and while I can certainly appreciate that it is hard for him to keep control all day, he can’t treat us (and our home) the way he had been.
See, Mickey has had a couple of amazing breakthroughs in the last 2 months. The biggest being that he realized he has been self-sabotaging every attempt to leave his school. Since early 2nd grade, when we attempted to move him from the awful school we hated back to his beloved home school, fear got the better of him and impeccable (for Mickey) behavior turned into constant problems. When we moved to our current school after months of spiraling behavior following the initial sabotage in 2nd grade, we have tried 3 different times. All 3 times, we have a meeting, make a plan, talk with Mickey and watch him destroy any chance of ever leaving.
He wants to leave. He wants to go to a school where they offer arts and music. He wants to join the band and the chorus desperately. But, those things will never happen at his current placement because his current placement doesn’t offer music or art in any form. But, even though he wants to go, he is scared to leave his safe place…I understand that (see 19 years with the same company – not because it has always been the best job, but because it is the safe, the known). But, he and I went to dinner 3 weeks ago, while Minnie was at a sleepover. He said he was ready to leave his school. He talked to his teacher about what steps he needed to do to leave. He asked me to review his IEP with him again so that he could work on those goals as well. He took the initiative and acknowledged (for the first time) that fear has kept him where he is. We talked about that fear is okay, but he can’t let it stand in the way of his dreams.
Because of that, I wondered if I could maybe make him see that he was storing all his daily frustrations and them unloading them on me and Minnie. He yelled at me, but came back down later and said I might be right. So, we brainstormed a few ideas to see if we could find a more appropriate outlet for that annoyance. We don’t have a fool-proof plan yet, but we have seen progress this week and the rest of last week. So, that is good – yay for maturity and self realization. He had his fist rough patch at school yesterday, but it was short and minor and his teacher is still thrilled. Unfortunately Summer the hamster inexplicably died overnight two days ago. Both kids are heartbroken. There was no sign of illness – she went to sleep and didn’t wake up.
Next week is more family birthdays. This weekend we have a full schedule. We are gearing up for our next Disney trip, etc. So, fingers crossed we are coming up with solutions for Mickey. We see the therapist in the morning so hopefully he can help us come up with some other ideas for Mickey right after school to release that tension and help him get through the evening a little better.
Have a great weekend!